One Russian man chose to literalize his threat to put his foot up his rival’s ass after they were fighting over a woman. Vladimir Krasnov, 28, himself inebriated, decided to take advantage of his 48-year-old friend’s drunken stupor by literally inserting his right foot “into the victim’s anus and rectum.” Rectum? Damn near killed ‘em. Only, umm … it did kill him, and in an especially painful way: he bled out and died on the scene.

So Krasnov was arrested, and nature will take its course: he’s got maybe 15 years in prison ahead of him.

“All I can say [is] I really regret [it],” Krasnov told police, as reported by Gawker. “Nothing like this would happen if I were sober.”

  

What

Where

Search Jobs

His girlfriend is willing to shrug it off as inebriated high jinx as well, “It’s just alcohol,” she told a reporter and added also, as if we were expected to believe it, that Krasnov had nothing to be jealous about. “With [Sergei] it was just ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye,’” she claimed. Well it’s only going to be “goodbye,” now, and he leaves this world in one of the least dignified manners possible.

All the blame can’t be put on alcohol, of course; since even when inebriated there is some attendant voice of conscience – hopefully – or at least the whisper of common sense?