I can’t eat this cake, I’ve already had dessert like three times this week.
My pants are too tight, there’s no way I’m eating anything at that tailgate party.
Another beer? Do you KNOW how many calories that is?
Does that sound familiar?
Well, enough of that kind of talk.
The guilt and the shame we place around food is just too much. Food is something to be enjoyed, something to bring people together, and something to appreciate.
Food is not a tool for guilt and shame, food is not a means to feel control over your life, and food is not out to get you.
Over the past year so many women have taught me what it means to have a healthy relationship with food, and for every revelation I have, I see another woman fall into an unhealthy relationship. I see another woman pretend that everything is fine when inside she’s fighting a battle with herself.
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A few weeks ago I was watching the movie, Eat Pray Love and a particular scene really hit me. I knew I wanted to write about it and I thought this was the perfect time to do so.
In the film, Julia Roberts’s character travels to Italy after her divorce and immerses herself in the culture. She makes new friends, she learns Italian and she enjoys the food, without apologizing to anyone, especially not to herself. In this scene she’s eating Pizza in Napoli with a friend and after her friend says she can’t eat the pizza because she’s gained weight, Julia Roberts reminds her that life is so much more than a few pounds. Life is about embracing experiences and opportunities, and about buying new jeans.
Click the black box if the video doesn’t show
So stop. Stop the shame and the guilt. Let it go, love yourself exactly as you are and LIVE your life to the fullest. We only have so long in this world, why waste your time counting calories, avoiding social situations or making yourself feel awful?
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Do you ever experience food shaming or guilt? How do you handle it?
Do you notice other people doing so? Does it affect you?
Love it! Imma have some pizza tonight just for you! Gluten free pizza crusts… any suggestions?
I’ve actually never bought a GF crust, just gotten it at restaurants! I should start some research…
An awesome reminder, Katie! There’s so much more to life than our jean size. As morbid as it is to think about, when we’re gone people are going to remember our personalities and our accomplishments, not how small our waist was or how much ‘self control’ we had around ‘naughty’ food – it doesn’t matter! Our time and energy is much better spent strengthening relationships and cultivating joy in our lives.
Exactly – what are people going to remember about you? Not that you went from a size 6 to a 10, or from a 10 to a 6!
Love this post! For a few years I have been struggling with restricting/binging and I have finally stoped worrying and let myself eat in moderation. 🙂
Exactly, once you just let the need to be thin go, you let go of all that worry and stress!
Love this post! I often find myself saving things (recipes, box mixes, special treats) for when I’ve been “good.” When in reality there will always be boring treats I indulge in and I need to stop waiting on enjoying the specials treats. I’m headed back for Homecoming at my college this weekend and I’m looking forward to eating and savoring good food!
I do similar things: putting off indulging in something when in the end, I just end up overeating something boring because I feel deprived!
Bless your heart for sharing these thoughts. Amen, sister! 🙂 Love this post. I’ve struggled with an Eating Disorder for a while now…..and today’s post is such a great inspiration for me.
That seen in “Eat, Pray, Love” is my favorite!!! I wonder if Julia Roberts really lives her own life that way.
How do you know when you are over indulging though, if you don’t monitor your desserts and calories?
Beth, I don’t count calories or obsess over desserts. I do count fruit and veggie servings! I find when I focus on those, I’m more likely to make good choices with out feeling guilty or eating meals out of obligation.
On the flip side, I like what you said Katie. Food isn’t a reward or a punishment. We dont “deserve” a treat or not. We aren’t dogs 😉 food is a pleasure, and an art, and a fuel!
That’s a great idea Hannah – to count fruit and veggie servings!
Personally, I just like to try and follow the 80/20 rule: 80% healthy and 20% “indulgence.” You just have to figure out what works for you and listen to your body. You know when you’re over doing it!
This is exactly what I needed to read. have been struggling lately with finding that balance while still living a healthy lifestyle!! Food is fuel not the enemy!! I really appreciate this!! Made my day..also forgot how much I love this movie!
Aww I’m so glad you found this helpful!
Great post, Katie! I definitely used to experience food guilt but have – THANKFULLY – outgrown that stage of my life. Now when I see and experience others doing it, I try to coach them out of it. Like you said, avoiding things that we’re craving or that we want to do to have fun can cause binging and an unhealthy relationship with food. Love your words!
Totally agreed – avoiding things I wanted led me to a really unhealthy relationship with food. So glad to be moving past that!
FAB post, Katie!! and AMEN.
Life is amazing when you just let the guilt & the worry about food GO! You’re amazing!
Thanks, Annette!
Absolutely! I do want to be healthy bc life is short!
Definitely!
Amen to this.
Thanks, Ashley!
i love that scene!! and this post! that scene really spoke to me when i saw it because i was just starting my ED recovery. i looked at julia roberts on that screen and wanted her pizza so badly but was afraid to eat it. thankfully i can allow myself pizza now (i’m having it tonight!) but i still fight guilty feelings about eating it or even wanting it in the first place. i try to remember how our society operated 100 years ago. without the media teaching us to feel food guilt, we didn’t. i try to live in a world where i ignore the media and its messages as much as i can.
It’s hard sometimes to get rid of the guilty feelings. Personally, it took learning to love myself exactly how I am and not worry about weight so much. Having pizza (or whatever it is for you) every once in a while isn’t going to make a big impact!
Thank you for this reminder. Pizza has always been my favorite food. Until I decided that I was no longer allowed to eat it because of how “bad” it is for me. This post resonates with me today particularly because my office mates decided to order pizza for a lunch meeting and I immediately had a secret panic rush through me. I can no longer allow food to have so much power over me. What once was love has turned to fear. I am so tired of fighting this battle and these little reminders mean so much to me. Thanks.
I used the feel the same way! I think what helps is that I don’t want to be “that girl” or “that friend” who is always stressed out about what they’re eating. I want to be someone that people enjoy hanging out with, and be someone who is confident in herself!
Katie,
SUCH an awesome post. I love it, and I love how you help me relax. Life is so short and I want to enjoy every part of it, not waste it scrutinizing and criticizing myself.
Have an awesome weekend!
Beth
Thanks, Beth! I’m glad you enjoyed the post!
I think I read this at just the right time, seeing as I just finished eating a handful of Halloween candy 🙂
YUM!
I absolutely LOVE this post! I used to be just like that and it was actually when I studied abroad in Florence that I learned to appreciate the experience of eating and the joy that it is meant to bring. Its just impossible to turn down a pizza made with all fresh ingredients or gelato! Those Italians take their food/eating/indulging seriously!
Oh jealous! That’s so cool that you got to study abroad there, sounds amazing!
Wonderful post! I love that scene in the movie. Such a great reminder. Thank you! Life is just too short. I want to enjoy my days not feel guilty.
Definitely, ilfe is just too short!
I LOVE FOOD SO MUCH that I could never feel BADLY about eating it! lol
haha good!
I can attest that the pizza in Napoli really is that good! Love the post, so so good. For years I stressed and counted and thought about food so much. It makes me so sad to look back at what I denied myself. It took time, but now I’ve truly let go, and I LOVE and enjoy my food. Ironically, when I stopped worrying, I lost weight and got to a happy weight where I’ve been for 18 months now. I enjoy every type of food (especially the pizza and the beer!) and I stop when I’m full. Food, and life, is meant to be enjoyed!
That’s great, Amanda! I think letting go and not worrying is really key!
[…] recommends: Eat the Pizza from Peace, Love, & […]
Great post, Katie! I love that scene, too. I used to deal with food shame/ guilt, but now I know that I eat healthy 80% of the time and can and should enjoy those indulgences when they pop up! Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks, Megan! Glad you liked the post!
[…] Eat the Pizza –Peace Love & Oats […]
Sometimes I feel embarrassed because of my food choices — like, I need to justify them to other people! It’s hard to silence that inner (a-hole) voice telling you to feel guilty and shameful for eating certain things. But then I decide to just screw it and do what I want. It’s so liberating.
Food should not be an issue of guilt, since guilt is a moral issue and food is most definitely not. Food is one of life’s greatest joys! We gotta enjoy it!
Totally agree – we just can’t about what other people think!
I know I’m late in reading and responding, but THANK YOU for posting this. Not only is it exactly what I needed to read today, but it is EXACTLY how I want to live. Enough letting food control the fun times, the spontaneous times, and limiting my experiences. I personally struggle with this, and I know so many women do too. The more we’re reminded that LIFE is not about food, but experiences (that sometimes involve some delicious food), the more we will hopefully embrace it! Thank you!
I’m so glad you liked the post, Sarah! I agree, life is all about the experiences and often we keep ourselves from enjoying those experiences because we’re too worried about what we’re eating.
I ate pizza this weekend and I wasn’t too upset about it. It was difficult, especially since I can’t control myself around it – it’s so good! But I listened to my body and it wasn’t hungry the rest of the day… and I didn’t crave sweets all weekend!
So important to just eat what you crave, stop when you’re full and enjoy your weekend!
It really is true that for every revelation I have I find another woman or young girl who falls into a negative, unhealthy relationship with food and fitness. I started my blog because I don’t want anyone to make the mistakes I made. These women and girls don’t realize these behaviors can have a lasting, negative impact on health. Not to mention, life’s too short to be worrying about these silly things all the time. Thanks for sharing this post! 🙂
I love that scene in Eat, Pray, Love! I struggle with this often. It seems that I go through phases wherein I embrace food and enjoy it,becuase I know that life is about more than weight. Other time, I feel myself obsessing over the scale, counting calories, and restricting my favorite indulgences. It is an unhealthy cycle, but years of disordered habits are hard to break.