Hey everyone! I hope you all had a great Monday and a great start to the month of October! (best month ever). On Sunday I had a great end to the month of September – Blogger Book Club!
I created a Chicago Healthy Living Blogger facebook group a couple months ago and from that have stemmed many meet-ups, including our blogger book club! Last month we were hosted by Kelsey and read The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. This month, Erin offered to host. The book choice? MWF Seeking BFF! I hadn’t ever heard of it until we chose the book but it sounded interesting: a New York native moves to Chicago with her husband only to realize 2 years later that she has no close friends in the city. She goes on a year long hunt for a new BFF using every method in the book! Haha sounded like me, so I was definitely interested.
I actually really loved this book. Not only did it have great information about friendship, but it actually gave me some great tips and ideas. One thing that I loved is throughout the book, the author cites to research that she’s found about friendship, giving information on how people form relationships and why women need relationships with other women. Personally I found it all really interesting. She also talks about how she learned to be better at making friends, how she became a more open and talkative person and also how the whole journey made her a more confident and independent person. Because she went out on her own to several events, she found herself being more independent, doing things she would have normally been too nervous to do on her own.
The advice that I got from the book on making friends can be summed up in these simple tips:
1) It takes EFFORT. Follow up with people, get their phone numbers, don’t just say “we should get together sometime” and then never do anything about it.
2) Say yes. Whenever you get invited to things say yes, and you will get invited to more and more things. The more you say no, the less other invitations will come your way.
3) Don’t be embarrassed. Most people think that if you say “I need friends” then you must be sad and lonely. Why is it okay to say “I’m looking for a man” but not “I’m looking for friends?” Most women would welcome new friendships into their lives and many are in the same circumstances: new to a city and in need of new friends.
4) Don’t expect to find the same kind of friends you’ve had growing up. You can’t replicate the friendship you have with the girls you’ve known since kindergarten. It’s okay to have different kinds of friends, some really close, some you’d just call up for brunch or a fun event you heard about.
It was also great to read a book based in Chicago – I’m definitely going back through and writing down some of the places she went because some sounded pretty cool! Haha probably not going to sign up for “Rent-A-Friend” though…
To discuss the book (and to just hang out and drink wine…) we all met up at Erin’s apartment and had a delicious spread of food. I love these book club meet ups and have definitely learned to expect to be there for the entire afternoon! We can’t ever stop talking.
photo collage stolen from Kelsey
And, shhhh, don’t tell them, but I totally want to go on some more “friend dates” with many of these girls.
Have you ever put in effort in making new friends?
Do you live somewhere new, or in a place where you have all your friends from high school or college?
I love the idea behind this book. I don’t have any sisters, and my best friends have all become my surrogate sisters. I learn so much from each and every one of them, and I know that they’ll love me no matter what (because I know that I’ll love them no matter what). I believe that every gal should have multiple best friends. They just really comfort your soul — knowing that there will always be someone there for you when you need them.
I grew up without a best friend, and always, ALWAYS wanting one. I found one in high school and still have her. I’ve definitely opened my heart to others, but falling into my eating disorder shut me off from the world. Now that I’m blogging, I find that I’m reaching out to so many new people.
Don’t you think that the feeling of having made a new, true friend is one of the best in the world? I definitely do. 🙂
Best friends are definitely a blessing!
I read the free sample of this on my Nook, and now have a request in at the library. I was intrigued by the premise, since I think that a lot of young adult women find themselves in the spot of not having as many friends as they did in high school/college–or, at least, not as readily available.
I definitely agree, it’s so much harder to make new friends at this age
I’ll date you. But after the marathon. Okay? Okay!
Lol sounds good, we can reminisce about how we kicked butt!!!
I looked for this book this weekend at the library, but it was checked out. Moving to a new place is hard! I moved to Wisconsin and didn’t know a soul, but law school helped and getting out into my job!
Hopefully it will be back soon, it really gave me ideas on how to make friends beyond school and work
i definitely have lucked out because i moved to dc to be with all of my friends from college, but when i finish grad school in a year and a half i’m planning on moving somewhere completely new and it terrifies me. i’m going to need this book and all the help i can get then because making new friends outside of school is hard! i really love making new friends through blogging though 🙂
Definitely check it out, it will be so helpful!
Welcome to my life-all I Want to do is constantly date all of you.
As cheesy as it sounds- I found the book to inspire me to say yes and make an effort to hang out more with people. It helps that all of you are awesome and all I want to do is hang out all day with you.
It definitely inspired me! Prepare yourself for a bombardment of date invites
I love our blogger book club meet-ups!
I really learned a lot from this book. The biggest send home from me was the idea of saying yes to everything. I’m so used to having homework and downtime that I often say no to going out after work or on the weekends because I need to do laundry or cook dinner. Obviously downtime is important but it’s not helping me make any new friends!
I agree, I tend to not say yes because I love my downtime, but every time I do say yes it is so worth it!
I went to college 1000 miles away from home not knowing a single person. I made the best friends of my life there and I moved back home now, missing them terribly!
I did the same! I miss my college friends so much!
Sounds like a great book – making friends is so much harder as an adult than it was as a kid! I just moved to a new city, so I could use all the advice I could get.
Definitely check it out then, it really inspired me to try different ways to meet people and put in more effort!
im so bad at this..maybe i should read the book. i dont really put much effort into fostering new friendships because i feel like i have such history with my older friends, but i should! im lame i know.
Definitely read it, it really got me motivated to try harder with making friends and get out of my comfort zone
I’m living in a new town right now and am coming across the same issues. You really have to be the one to make the first move when you are trying to make new friends!
It’s so true, nothing ever happens if you just wait for friends to fall in your lap!
Um, yep, would totally friend date so many book clubbers. Once a month reunions are not all sufficient. I think the Chicago Healthy Living Blogger facebook group is one of the best things that’s happened to me in this city, no lie.
I was really inspired by her Second City stories to look into taking classes there…riiiiiight up until I saw the cost of the classes. Maybe if I start making 4x my current salary…haha. Regardless, I also thought the book was full of SO many helpful tips on how to go about making at least friends if not BFFs.
Haha that’s one thing I would never do! I’d be way too freaked out to take improv classes!
I read this recently. Cute book. I like reading things set in Chicago.
I also read Immortal Life, really loved that one.
Okay this is SUCH a cool looking/sounding book!
And AMEN to the saying ‘no’ thing. I used to be like that….I try hard to stay open to ALL opportunities & say YES as often as I can (instead of being like ‘I am too busy’ blah. But of course, I try to make sure I am taking care of me & what I need to do too). It’s a tricky balance!
Definitely, I love my “me time” to decompress but I need to say yes more often because I rarely regret it!
I have heard a lot of good things about this book, I need to check it out.
Your book club looks like such fun! When I moved 4 hours away for college, I didn’t know a soul and had to work to meet people. I was blessed with great roommates my freshman year. I am also a Musical Theatre major and I have spent every day with the same 15 people for the past 3 years! We are really close. Too close sometimes. I have made some of the best friends but I’ve realized I don’t really have any friends here outside of theatre. This makes me sad but at the same time I know I have a group of people I love, trust, and can always call.
It’s great to have a good group of close friends! And if you want to try hanging out with other people just put in some effort and ask them to hang out sometime! Don’t feel stuck in a rut if you want some other, not quite as close friends too!
Sounds like I should check this book out! Thanks for sharing!
This book sounds right up my alley. I’ve never been very good at making friends. I think it’s because up until I moved away from home as an adult, all my friends were ones I’d had since kindergarten so I’d never needed to make new ones! I’ve lived in a new community for almost four years now, and I’m still missing that “good friend”. Maybe I should try some of these methods!
Haha I’m awful at making friends! Definitely check out the book, you’d be surprised how motivating it is!
My book club read this book as well and I enjoyed it a lot too. When I reached out to see if you wanted to go to spinning class I felt just like a character in the book and kept telling myself even if she thinks it sounds weird there is no reason not to ask. Definitely is full of good reminders that it doesn’t hurt to try to make friends with someone because they could very well be looking for a new friend too.
Haha I would have thought the same if I were reading the book at the time!! And I didn’t think it was weird at all, I was so glad you wanted to go with me!
I went to Target and picked up this book almost immediately after reading your review- the concept really struck a chord in me, as making friends is something I can struggle with. I just opened it up and am a few pages it… AND I LOVE IT. I find myself nodding at almost every single sentence and thought. It is like somebody took my thoughts and put them into a book. So… Thank you so much : ).
I had the same reaction! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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