Over the past few weeks I’ve been thinking about envy quite a lot, especially in how it affects my own internal dialogue. Through the blog world, social media, magazines, TV and our every day lives we are constantly comparing ourselves to the people around us. I know the “comparison trap” has been talked to death, but I think it’s more than just comparison – it’s about jealousy, envy, and learning to be grateful for our own lives and blessings.
Envy is something that I used to feel constantly – all day, every day. That girl running down the path, the cute couple at a restaurant, even my closest friends. However nowadays, these thoughts are few and far between. Whenever I do have a jealous pang I remind myself: you know nothing about their life and remember all the amazing things that you have been blessed with in your life.
But most importantly – what is the point? In the end, are these little things that you are envious of really important? No. My purpose in life is to fulfill God’s purpose for me, not to be the skinniest, the prettiest, the most stylish, the fastest, the strongest or anything else. Knowing and truly believing in that has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders and has given me so much comfort.
At the same time, remember to not squash your own spirit in fear that others will envy you. A friend of mine last week told me how she had recently become very invested in reading her bible: it was a necessary part of her day that calmed and centered her. Then she tried to explain it away, so that I didn’t feel envious since I said I hadn’t read a lot of the book.
Although I never want to be boastful or prideful (don’t get me wrong – I often am!) we shouldn’t downplay the joys in our life to make ourselves more humble. Maybe the joy you have will inspire someone else to work harder, look for more in their own life. Don’t hide your own joy for fear that others will resent you, because you might be the example that someone needs.
So remember – focus on you and your life, be grateful for all that you have, and live with love, joy and acceptance.
Do you struggle with envy?
What are ways that you deal with jealousy, envy and comparison?
Do you ever dim your own light so you don’t make others envious or resentful?
Beautiful post, Katie! I love this. I definitely used to struggle with envy and jealousy a lot. It was when I was struggling with my self confidence and trying to figure out who in the world I was and who I wanted to be. In reality, I realized I just needed to focus on me and simply be ME! Easier said than done at times, absolutely, but it’s amazing how your focus and attitude can change your outlook on life. So glad you’re in a more content place now. It makes life so much more FUN and joyful!
Yes, we too often look to others to see who we should be, rather than truly focusing on ourselves.
Great post!! I especially love the point about being joyful in your life and not worrying at causing others to envy you. I think there’s a difference between being proud/boastful and being joyful and content with your life, your blessings, and your successes.
I agree, such a big difference!
This was such a beautifully written post and you are so, so right. I have definitely had times of looking at other people’s lives and wondering why mine isn’t more ____. But it’s so true, you never really know what someone is battling or has battled, and what you see might be just a snippet that they choose to share! Thank you for the reminder about why we’re here too- to live God’s purpose for our lives. Sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in looking/acting/being a certain way that it’s easy to loose sight of it!
Yes, it’s so hard to compare you to just a small bit of what you see from someone else – it’s best just to focus on you!
This is so good Katie! I used to struggle with this a lot. Especially before Baby D. I think sometimes we feel like God is keeping certain “blessings” from us. We just need to remember that God has a perfect plan for our lives… and it isn’t someone elses plan! You MUST read When People are Big and God is Small!!!
I’ll look that book up! Thanks, Brittany!
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