Meghann wrote a great post yesterday about promoting a healthy body image; about how we are all different and we should love ourselves the way we are. I really needed to hear that at the moment.
Every since the marathon ended I’ve been in a funk. Everything I was avoiding while focusing on the marathon smacked me in the face on Monday, including my weight. Am I overweight? Of course not. My clothes just don’t fit well anymore and that’s all I’ve been able to think about. Isn’t that crazy? I JUST RAN A MARATHON. I trained for 4 months, ran 26.2 and in a time I am so proud of. So why am I getting so hung up on my weight? I think the problem for me is that I feel so out of control with it, that it just keeps getting worse and I haven’t been able to stop it. But you know what? I am SO MUCH MORE than what I weigh.
I am a daughter.
I am a granddaughter.
I am a niece.
I am a cousin.
I am a sister.
I am a friend.
I am a college graduate.
I am a law school student.
I am a blogger.
I am a GOTR coach.
I am a Harry Potter fan.
I am a book lover.
I am fashion lover.
I am a goldfish owner.
I am Molly’s BFF.
I am a marathoner,
and I am a RUNNER.
See? I am so many great things, and so are YOU.
Yesterday I couldn’t take it anymore. Yesterday I needed a release, I needed to find myself, find my center. I needed to run. So I did.
I went for a 2 mile run that turned into 3 (the zoo was calling my name). My legs didn’t feel amazing, but they certainly didn’t feel bad. My heart, however, loved it. Running is my time to reflect, to think, to breath, to be outside. Running is my time for me and I needed it so badly.
During the race I ran past my apartment, past the places I walk every day, down the road the bus takes me on to and from school, past where I worked this summer, past my school, and to places I’d never seen before. Everywhere I go I’m reminded of how much I enjoyed that race. I may not have a marathon to train for anymore and I may not have a training plan, but running is always going to be a part of my life because it makes me feel like me again.
I am excited to work on speed, doing HIIT runs. I’m excited to run on whatever day I feel like running on. I’ll miss my running group and I’ll miss feeling like a bad ass: “um yea, we did our short 14 miler today…” but I’m excited to keep running.
Who are you? What’s great about you?
What’s your release?
I ran for the first time post marathon yesterday too! 4 miles. Slow. No watch. It was dark, cold, and windy. And amazing : )
It was so windy yesterday! Haha
Great post and I love that you’ve listed ‘a blogger’ twice! It must have been on your mind 😉 Yes I think it is so important to remember that ultimately weight, size and appearance are really not that important in the grand scheme of things 🙂
Haha that was an accident, but yes must have been in my head! And very true – those are definitely not the most important things in life
I can imagine things seem to be off since finishing your training and the race! It’s a big commitment to train and many aspects of your life get involved in the training! Keep up with the running, even if it’s just to clear your head and lasts for just 30 minutes! I find the trails I take on become my momentary sanctuary and no matter how I started the run, I’m always better off after! New things will begin to fill the time and energy you put into training and that ‘void’ will definitely get filled!
Thanks Kelly! It really is a great way to clear my mind, I never regret a run!
First of all, you should add that you are an inspiration to that list. Also, it might be fun to challenge yourself to add some adjectives to those nouns. That’s what I do when I’m feeling down — I pull out my list of “I am”s and try to find different adjectives for each one. Just a thought. 🙂
My release is running, but recently I’ve found that I really love trail running. Being in the heart of the woods, with no plan and not knowing what will lie around the next corner. Leaping over those trease, dodging the roots, nearly falling because you got caught in the beauty around you and missed that there was an obstacle in your path … It’s a whole new level of freedom.
Ah I wish I could go trail running! That would require a 40 minute drive at least from where I live. I got to do that in Colorado and it was so much fun! Haha I felt like a mountain goat!
Love this post! You are (also) amazing. My release is exercise. I crave that burst of energy and the endorphins really can undo a crappy day.
endorphins definitely help!
i love this post. katie you are such an amazing inspiration to me. you were throughout all of marathon training and you continue to say exactly what i need to hear. i’ve been in a little bit of a funk without training also (i think because it was time that i felt like i had to devote to just me and this week has been crazy with trying to catch up from the weekend so i’m really missing it) but i know that i’m going to ultimately settle into finding a way to still incorporate running into my life because i’ve realized something important – i love to run.
I’m sure you’ll find a way to keep running in your life, I’m hoping to do HIIT runs, and I signed up for a half at the end of January! Haha so I’d better keep it up!
Beautiful post! And amen to everything you said… You are certainly SO much more than a stupid number or pants size. Focus on fueling your body well and moving, and your weight will settle at where it’s supposed to be. Love you!
Thanks, Ash. Love you too!
You ARE beautiful!! And I love that you’ve found your happy place –your release. SO awesome!
My release is teaching. Time stops for me & I am just THERE. I also love to just sit & chat with my husband. That’s a great release too!
I can imagine teaching is great! It’s something I’ve thought about looking into. I’m generally a quiet person but I LOVE helping, teaching and encouraging people so it’s definitely in the back of my mind…
This is such a wonderful post. Isn’t it crazy how it’s so much easier for us to hone in on one or two things that we really dislike about ourselves and just let that snowball out of control instead of focusing on the many, many more things that we do like about ourselves? I know that’s something I struggle a TON with.
Running outside more than anything has become a huge release for me over the past year or so (that or a good rant session with one of my close friends or family members). The first mile or so of a run generally sucks for me mentally while I’m still thinking, but usually somewhere after one or one a half miles I can’t think about anything but running and how my body feels in that moment. By the time I’m done, I’ve usually forgotten whatever was stressing me out initially and I feel so much more equipped to deal with the rest of my day. There’s nothing like the sound of my feet against pavement to clear my head.
I agree, running is the best way to clear my head and I always feel better afterwards!
I am a wife and MOTHER. I am an example for my kids. I LOVED this post.
Love your response!
Definitely a great post! I am a daughter, a sister, a graduate student, a girlfriend, a blogger, a fitness enthusiast, and an eater. I’m good at all of them, especially the last one. :-p
Of course, running a marathon is going to change your body and your weight a bit. Just give it some time and it’ll go to where it’s supposed to be. 🙂
Haha I love the last one
I LOVED this post! To be selfish, I really needed it 🙂 I think all to often we focus on everything we aren’t, things we don’t have, goals that we haven’t accomplished. When in fact we are so much more! We have done so much, are so much and have accomplished so many things!
I am a wife, a pianist, and a cake/cookie decorator.
I wrote it HOPING people needed it, I sure needed to write it! And I was once a pianist… sadly I quit in 5th grade.
Good for you! It’s so important to focus more on the inside of ourselves and the relationships that matter to us rather than the way the outside is packaged.
Katie, you are amazing! Weight is just a number, like everyone says, but you’re so much more than just that number on the scale! I’ve struggled with accepting my own weight because I am 6’3 so I’ll never be that perfect 125 or 150 or whatever people strive for. You definitely aren’t the only one with these thoughts but know that you are beautiful and a wonderful person!
I definitely don’t think there’s a perfect number, we are all built so differently!
This is such a perfectly timed post. I can imagine you’re feeling a smidge (haha I just used smidge) of the post-marathon blues (google it, it’s a real thing). It happens to everyone where you go through stages of wanting to run another marathon right away and then feeling like you don’t know what to do next. It’s the perfect storm of emotions that make you start to get down on yourself– DON’T DO IT!
You’re right you are so much more than a number on a scale or a pants size. You’re you and that’s whats important!
My group leader sent us an article about the post-marathon blues!
you are so right! running is about celebrating a joy, passion, gift. You are more than running though, you are God’s light!
Thank you, Lindsay!
I love this. what a great reminder that I think we all need sometimes. like you, running is my happy place. have a great weekend!
Katie,
I”m so glad you posted this. I struggle daily with feeling that I want to be thinner, weigh less, and constantly comparing my body to others. You are right though we are full human beings that are so much more than just a number on a scale. And by the way–I think you look great!! I was actually looking at the pictures you posted at the Marathon Expo and thought to myself that you looked really toned and lean–especially your legs. So don’t be too hard on yourself.
Haha my legs are my best feature – no matter how much weight I gain they always look great! Love them.
Sorry to hear you were in a funk! I think it’s great that you took time to acknowledge all the amazing things you are! For me, sometimes I have to remind myself of the most obvious one: I am me! I am who I am, and that is the only standard to which I should hold myself – not any number, grade, or whatever. I just strive to be the best version of me and then have to trust that that’s enough. 🙂 and my release is yoga – there’s very little a hot and sweaty vinyasa can’t fix! 😉
I loooooove hot yoga! I miss going!
Found your blog through Meghann’s, and I’m glad I did. Congrats on the Chicago Marathon!
I find it really hard when I beat myself up about my body image. There are days when I love my body, and days when I don’t, but I think finding a release in running is a great way to handle it. There’s nothing like getting away from everything – physically, emotionally, socially – when running.
Thank you for reading, Lisa! And running really is the best therapy!
Isn’t that post-race feeling so liberating? I’ve never trained for a marathon, but I did train for a half and soon found that I really missed the freedom that comes with no running schedule. No assigned distances, times, speed, etc. Enjoy it now! Until you register for the next marathon that is… 😉
Haha already have a half in January!
I love this post! It’s easy to get caught up in our weight, but it really is only a number, and we are so much more than that! You know that you are strong and healthy, and that’s what matters!
So glad you are identifying with REALLY matters, and it has nothing to do with out weight! Getting past that is incredibly difficult (as be both know, ugh) but saying things like this, writing out what you are, beyond the PHYSICAL, is just remarkable and necessary! I need to do this for myself too
I totally understand your sentiments, and you ARE so much more than any one of the things; you are a whole! I’m glad you took the time to remind yourself of that. Just stumbled on your blog today via Chocolate Covered Katie’s! Keep it up, you have a great blogging voice!
That’s so amazing that you’re a law school student! How do you manage running so much and keeping up with your blog post on top of your school work? I would love to read more about how you balance time management!
I love this post, it is so true that we are all so many different things. Why focus on the negative when you can focus on the positive. 🙂
I love this post Katie! You seem to have such a healthy outlook and mindset, and I really respect that. 🙂 I think it has been within the past year that the realization I’m not defined by my weight really hit me too. It’s so freeing to realize that!
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This is a great post Katie. I get so frustrated with myself when I focus on the ‘flaws’ as opposed to this great things that ‘I am’. I can really relate to this post and needed to hear it tonight 🙂
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This is a great post. I actually gained 15 pounds over the course of the summer while training for my first half (a lot of it muscle), but it was still sometimes hard to see my body changing and not feeling in control of it. It confused me since I was getting in the best shape I’d ever been in and eating really well, but I was gaining weight which I have never had problem with before. I think it’s really important in our society to remind ourselves when we are becoming too focused on a number or size that weight is not who we are. I needed to read this and need to remind myself like you did of all of the things I am that having nothing to do with size.